Who am I? and whether it matters

Let us begin by submitting ourselves to a quick thought experiment. Let’s try to think of someone who has the closest connection with us. What appears in our minds? What do we think of that person? Now, think of another one who usually study-dates with us. What appears in our minds? What do we think of that person? Now, try another person who usually hangs out and has fun with us. What appears in our minds? What do we think of that person

For all three people we think of above, what makes them different? Did we think of the same person, and did we think of them as having the same personality? When did we meet them? What do we and them usually talk about?

“Who are you?” is usually the question that we would come across when we have a job or scholarship interview. But have we ever considered whether it’s just to ask such questions? Does “Who I am” depend on me? Or does it depend on you? If I walk into a room full of people, and for each person, I ask the same set of questions that I prepare at home, do you think all of the people I speak to will think of me as the same person? Of course, it is the same person who speaks to them, but do they perceive me as that same person? Someone may think of me as outspoken. Someone may think of me as friendly. Someone may think of me as prim and proper. Someone may think of me as flirty. Someone may think of me as having an intention for approaching them. Someone may think of me as just being nice. For a simple occasion and a simple act, there are countless ways to interpret it. What is then, the correct interpretation? You can try to ask your friends and the people around you what they think about you. It may surprise you what their answers uncover. Or you can try to ask your friends what they think of a friend both you and they know, and then compare it with what you think of that person. Are there any differences? If you tell both descriptions to a third person, would they know that you and your friends are referring to the same person?

You may argue that how you view me depends on how I present myself to you. But is it true? If I raise my hand in a class and answer a question perfectly well, would you think of me as being phenomenally talented, would you think of me as being so studious and preparing for lessons so meticulously, would you think of me as just being lucky that I said the right thing at the right time, or would you think of me as a showy person and only want to be the teacher’s pet student? How did I present myself to you? What did I do that makes you think that way and what is your reasoning for your impression of me? I just simply raise my hand and answer a question, does it show anything? Is it enough for any conclusions?

I acknowledge that things can change, and people can change. What may be right today may be proven wrong tomorrow. Who appears nice may turn out to be a bastard. But let us reconsider the problem. Did that person change? Or was it our impression of that person that changed? Even though that person did change, such transformation may not appear to be the same transformation to everyone. A crab can be delicious to one person and lethal to another who is allergic to seafood.

So, at the end of the day, who am I? Am I a living and conscious person who can determine my own self? Or am I an object in your simulation, whose personality depends on what you want to give me? Does it matter what I say to you who am I? Suppose that you could know everything about me, about my biography, educational background, how I react in every situation, what I like and what I do not like, and so on, would you know anything about me without ever conversing with me? Will Mary know anything about “red” if she has never seen “red” in her life?

February 2023, Singapore.