On Rationaity of Love
Published on November 23, 2023by Le Mai Tan Dat
Is Love irrational?
Scenario A: Arthur is a close friend to Ben. One day, Arthur told Ben that he loved a girl named Crimson. Ben did not say much and congratulated Arthur on falling in love. Many months later, Arthur was sad and he told Ben that he did everything he could and for Crimson eagerly showed his love to Crimson but she did not reciprocate his love. Ben advised Arthur against pursuing his love and told him to look at it rationally. A year later, Arthur and Crimson broke up and Arthur regretted wasting his time and effort for pursuing Crimson.
Scenario B: Arthur is a close friend to Ben. One day, Arthur told Ben that he loved a girl named Crimson. Ben did not say much and congratulated Arthur on falling in love. Many months later, Arthur was sad and he told Ben that he did everything he could and for Crimson eagerly showed his love to Crimson but she did not reciprocate his love. Ben advised Arthur against giving up on his love and told him that one day she would return his love. A year later, Crimson accepted Arthur's proposal. Many years later, they got married and had a happy family.
Scenario C: Arthur is a close friend to Ben. One day, Arthur told Ben that he loved a girl named Crimson. Ben did not say much and congratulated Arthur on falling in love. Many months later, Arthur was sad and he told Ben that he did everything he could and for Crimson eagerly showed his love to Crimson but she did not reciprocate his love. Ben advised Arthur against pursuing his love and told him to look at it rationally. Many years later, Ben received Arthur invitation to his wedding with Crimson. Attending the wedding, Ben still did not understand how Arthur and Crimson got together, and Arthur did not mention that either.
Scenario D: Arthur is a close friend to Ben. One day, Arthur told Ben that he loved a girl named Crimson. Ben did not say much and congratulated Arthur on falling in love. Many months later, Arthur was sad and he told Ben that he did everything he could and for Crimson eagerly showed his love to Crimson but she did not reciprocate his love. Ben advised Arthur against giving up on his love and told him that one day she would return his love. Some years later, Arthur and Crimson broke up. Ben did not understand why Crimson could turn down a nice guy like Arthur, nor did he know the reason for their breakup.
Among these scenarios above, in which scenario that Arthur behaved irrationally? Is love something that strips people of rationality? Or is it something that grants people a different set of rationality?
When I say that I like this flower because I like this flower, it appears that I still do not get rid of the element of rationality. Instead of showing how this flower is different from other flowers or how liking this flower could benefit me, I choose to use personal preference as an explanation for my liking the flower. I do not eliminate rationality, I just simply replace one set of rationality with another set of rationality. And even if I say that I don't know why I like this flower, I am still not denying that this is a rationality for my liking the flower, I am just claiming that the rationality is unbeknownst to me.
Back to the question from the beginning, is love irrational? Is love something that cannot be understood, or is it something that requires a different set of rationality (different from the common logic) to be understood? Seeing through Arthur's point of view, did he really think that what he was doing for Crimson was irrational? Which set of rationality was he referring to?